Shark attacks in Mexican resort of Zihuatanejo. Sharks are not to blame, says shark.

June 2, 2008

It is not to get in the water. Sharks are eating people and they are not to blame!

People being eaten by sharks is never a good thing, some would say it isn’t even a funny thing. But sharks have to eat too. They don’t have  the luxury of choice, they don’t go on diets, they eat what they see and invariably don’t see what they eat. Sometimes they even eat human legs and the human being attached to it, as has happened this week on the sunny shores of the Mexican town of Zihuatanejo. Twice. Sadly for the locals and the flocks of tourists that descend, this isn’t Amity and police chief Martin Brody is not here to hunt down the perpetrator and dispose of it in some highly unlikely, nigh-on impossible feat of daring involving an old electrical power line or a conveniently place oxygen tank.

In all probability, the attacks will cease and life will return to normal but in the meantime a nice blame game has surfaced in old el’ Mexico, namely, who is to blame? The shark? No. The victims? No. Anyone involved on a personal or professional level with either, a: the shark or b: the victims? No. That must only leave one possible culprit. La Nina, evil cousin to that once more infamous El Nino one supposes.

Cooler than normal sea-surface temperatures due to the La Nina phenomenon are partly responsible for a spate of fatal shark attacks of Mexico’s Pacific coast.” So says a US shark expert this week. Although our sources are not water tight, we believe it is not a Matt Hooper (who in the book Jaws has an affair with Brody’s wife and gets eaten, whereas in the film he is made out to be a geeky quasi-hero) or a man by the name of Quint.

Taketheblame™ cant stand the idea of warmer than normal water being held responsible for such tragic circumstances and is holding its fins up. The shark obviously can’t be held responsible for being one of the most efficient, calculating, streamlined killing machines ever dreamed up in the eye of creation and doing what such a killing machine does.

“We are going to need a bigger boat”

dedicated to Roy Schneider.

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