The World’s Stupidiest Names revealed

June 9, 2008

lego

Frank Zapper certainly started something when he called his child Moon Unit. Whatever lysergic derivative flowing through his head at that time perhaps influenced his decision, what it didn’t do was cause the rush of blood to the countless others who have followed in his wake. Taketheblame would like to apologise to all the poor people out there who will never remain nameless due to the name they were given.

A Swedish couple have recently had a court ruling over turned allowing them to call their son Lego, after the famed plastic building blocks. This, as you can probably imagine is just the tip of the titanic shaped iceberg. Sticking with Sweden, for they seem as talented as most, Metallica, Ikea, Veranda and Elvis have all been put through the books in the last few years. In Swedish law it is actually forbidden to give offensive, unsuitable or in appropriate names to children. This didn’t stop a couple in 1996 naming their child Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, apparently pronounced Albin. Idiots. Not sure what the Swedish name police were doing that day.

Sweden has a rival though in the form of China, a country that doesn’t shy away from the damn right ludicrous and strange. There is a trend arising in the East for naming children not with names but with individual letters, symbols or bizarre combinations of words.  King Osrina, Zhao-A and the @ symbol have all been used recently. China does have some defence for its lunacy as only 129 names account for 87% of all surnames. In a country of over a billion, they are some figures to entice some name creativity.

The name game is every where and Taketheblame is taking responsibility for it. It needs to stop. But it wont because in Venezuela they have just lifted restrictions on name calling in fear of impeding human rights so you can go to Venezuela and call your child dodexihedroniclite if you are so inclined. Which brings us back around to rock stars, the biggest culprits of all.

So we take the blame and say sorry to Trixibell, Ugine, Lampstand, Eja, Skylor, Pickle, Blanket, Button, Apple, Grapefruit and myriad of others to hard to mention. May the bullies not get you and your parents millions protect you. Whatever happened to Jane and John and Mary?

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