Wedding photos are a threat to national security

July 6, 2008

Horrendous as the above photo is, there is no denying that such photos should be allowed to exist; taking photos on your wedding day is surely a liberty that even the most unphotogenic deserve. No? Perhaps not one of the great freedoms you would illicit from a lover of freedom but surely a right none the less. Alas, as the nanny state turns up the heat, these photos will no longer be allowed to grace coffee tables across the land as they are being outlawed by government killjoys. Photos of the happy bride and groom signing the register, the point in which they are actually recognised as husband and wife, are actually a threat to national security, a danger to the economy and a potential treasure trove for identity thieves.

The names and signatures of previous couples can be seen in any photograph taken and used in all manner of under hand, criminally insane activities. Using Photo-shop would-be paedophiles, terrorists, arms traffickers and drug mules could gleam the information and use it for their own demonic purposes. And so the Home Office had banned them. That the wedding register is a public document that can be viewed by anyone who cares to walk into the public domain is neither here-nor-there, or perhaps even over looked by the zealots responsible. Absurdity knows no limits.

As the fallout spreads, register offices throughout the land have been battling with their moral compass. Paranoia is creeping under the skin of Bury St Edmund’s registry office. Perhaps minutes before hiding under the table out of sheer fear, a spokesman commented on the ruling,

here’s confidential information listed in marriage entries and with photographic digital enhancement you might be able to see those details if a picture were taken‘.

Counter measures have been setup by fractioning registry offices to combat the absurdity of the draconian measure. The brains at Wolverhampton have come up with the cunning idea of using blank, dummy books in their photos, ensuring the privacy and future safety of all involved is maintained.

our superintendent ensures you cannot take any photos of the actual book. If they want this particular picture we give them a blank book to stand over.

As another part of our lives is washed away under a sea of government lunacy, Taketheblame would like to apologise to all those future happy couples who will, at best, have to pose with blank register books and more likely none at all.

Join the dicsussion and Leave a comment


Powered by Facebook Comments

Tags: , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *