Monthly Archives: March 2011

British Police to issue shotguns to 7-year olds?

4
March 26, 2011
British Police to issue shotguns to 7-year olds?

Some things in life are pretty self-explanatory, obvious and without rebuke. Not allowing 7-year olds to roam the countryside firing shotguns at all and sundry is surely one of such things? Well apparently not. At least not according to the Gloucestershire police department, who, in 2008 issued a 7-year old with a shotgun license....
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Working on the first sunshine days of the year blows. We take the blame.

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March 25, 2011
Working on the first sunshine days of the year blows. We take the blame.

Oxford animal testing labs are fit to bursting at this time of year. The monkeys are screaming, not howling, and the lab rats are honing up on their crystal maze skills in a vain attempt to beat the impenetrable fortress of makeup testers. The caged animals do sing, but to a different tune to...
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People are rude; Politeness has evaporated. We take the blame.

2
March 12, 2011
People are rude; Politeness has evaporated. We take the blame.

People are rude. We all know that. Every day city dwellers are forced to put up with one incident after another of pure, unadulterated, wreck-less rudeness. It is time that something out there changed; it’s time that someone took a big hot poker and instilled some manners in the masses. If it has to...
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This week we have taken the blame for YOU!!

1
March 12, 2011
This week we have taken the blame for YOU!!

Our recently added Blame request board has been practically inundated with your requests for blame. This week we have taken the best requests and taken the blame for your problems, issues, infractions and jokes. Feel free to drop a request and we will gladly take the blame for whatever ails you. This week……. Matthew...
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UK Government officials spend £48,337 on first-class rail tickets and bill the public.

4
March 7, 2011
UK Government officials spend £48,337 on first-class rail tickets and bill the public.

In a great piece of logistical and geographical planning, the Government Department of International Development (DfiD) has two offices; one in London and one in East Kilbride, Scotland. A nice clean round trip of 800 miles. In the first 6 months of 2010 a handful of government officials – who incidentally haven’t been named...
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Taking the blame for the Flu – Not the common cold you big wimp.

0
March 6, 2011
Taking the blame for the Flu – Not the common cold you big wimp.

There is what appears to be green, congealed spam oozing from your nose. Your lungs are trying to escape from your ribcage in a last ditch attempt to escape the imminent prison fire, only they are trying to abdicate through your throat, causing contractions and convulsions through your entire chest cavity. It hurts. And...
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Breast milk ice-cream

2
March 2, 2011
Breast milk ice-cream

There are some things that the world could quite easily live without; certain things that, were they to vanish, nobody would blink. Places, people and objects that really have no place in this world or the next. Switzerland for example. Bono. Big Brother. Ships in bottles. Cucumbers. Rollerblades. Traffic wardens. Touching your nose with...
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Behaviour