Inept burglar calls the police after botching the job and falling down a well.

April 3, 2011

Ineptitude runs through all walks of life and it shouldn’t be of any surprise that it incorporates the criminal underworld. Not the mafioso and the romantic image of criminal overlords but the dregs of everyday crime; the inept minority who steal cars, break shop windows, start bar fights, traffic people and burgle houses. These are not your James Bond overlords or your Pacino drug dealers. They are not Tony Soprano and they will never be anything approaching it. They work the housing estates of England and they are ridiculous in their ineptitude. So ridiculous that they deem it a good idea to call the police mid-burglary.

Everyone likes a good baddy. They are celebrated, coveted and idolised. If they commit their skulduggery in the right manner; with a balance of class and raging psychotic violence then they can transcend the evil they are capable of and leave the audience wishing death and failure to the good guys. This burglar didn’t succeed in ticking any of these boxes. Instead he achieved monumental, catastrophic, memorable, outstanding ineptitude. Stupidity to be laughed at.

Having botched the burglary in the first place, the 21-year old burglar from Halifax, West Yorkshire (not Nova Scotia, thats in Canada. Look., fled the scene of the crime. Not such a catastrophe as yet, but in fleeing the crime the inept burglar then jumped a wall and fell down a 30-foot well. Just how many 30-foot well shafts there are lingering unnoticed in the West Yorkshire conurbations is unknown to science but probably rests at about one. This inept burglar found it, promptly ignored its presence and fell down it. Aha. Escape is escape, even if it is being stuck down a secret mineshaft. Unfortunately for this poor thing, the seal of ineptitude was stamped when he called the police – the very ones from whom he was fleeing – to ask for a helping hand in removing himself from the hole. Nice work burglar, that one didn’t go according to plan did it?

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7 Responses to Inept burglar calls the police after botching the job and falling down a well.

  1. nothingprofound on April 3, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    I guess a burglar has no friends. So he had no choice but to call the police.

  2. thechef on April 3, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    ha, this is so true. Burglars have no friends accept for other burglars and a burglar cant call another burglar to help them out of a well when the police are closing in.

  3. Rob Cubbon on April 4, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    I guess the burglar community really need to get together and write a “How to … “

  4. Jill Tooley on April 4, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    Wow. Not exactly the most graceful or intelligent burglar, is he? I guess he failed to scope out the place before he attempted to rob it!

  5. Keyuri Joshi on April 6, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Poetic justice!

  6. Dennis Salvatier on April 8, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    This reminds me of the story of the high speed chase where the culprit signaled every turn to the cops that were chasing him. :)

  7. Billye Survis on April 9, 2011 at 2:03 am

    Having a husband in law enforcement, it’s amazing the stories I hear and some of the things people will do. Definitely makes for a good laugh! :)

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