Termites Chow down on dollars in Indian Bank. Bill comes to 10 million rupees.

April 27, 2011

“Ocean’s Eleven, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid, Reservoir Dogs, Nick Leeson. Listen up. If you want to rob a bank, what you need to do is eat the f**king money. “ anon

Build your house on the beach and it will get washed away. Build your bank on a termite mound and the little blighters will eat all of the money you have piled inside. Common sense dictates this. Termites eat wood. Money is made from paper. Paper is made from wood. Lunch time for the local termite population. No bank is stupid enough to leave piles and piles of cold hard cash unguarded and unwatched except for the hungry eyes of 5 million termites. Are they?

For the customers of the Indian State Bank, Fatehpur branch in the Indian district of Barabanki, this is exactly what has happened. The bank has suffered the ignominy of having clients money digested by the wood munching insects. Reports are flowing from Indian of customers money being the main course in a termite buffet of hedonistic proportions.

How much money did the insect army get through? And did they leave a tip? The service in India is reputably very good. According to the bank,  over the last few months the silent army of money munching assassins has chomped its way through 10 million Indian rupees. If you haven’t been to India, to put that into a currency you might understand, it equates to around $225,000 or £137,000.

Who is to blame for the calamitous piece of ineptitude? The Termites? State Bank of India Chief General Manager Abhay Singh told the Press Trust of India that,

“Action will be taken against those responsible in the matter”

Those responsible. Is that the termites? Could be. If they do decide the termites are to blame, what will be there punishment? No wood? In fairness, action has already been taken. The termites have been sent home early and the branch manager has been charged with “laxity”. Whatever that it. As for the customers money?

As it was the bank’s fault, it will bear the loss caused due to termites… there will be no loss to the public.

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