Taking the blame™ – for erratic driving and erratic drivers

June 2, 2011

Some people should not be allowed to drive. Pure and simple. Hell, some people are out there right now driving cars who shouldn’t even be allowed out of the house.  How some drivers on the road today managed to pass the driving test in the first place is a mystery to science, up there with black holes, quarks, string theory and The World Wrestling Federation. Just who dropped the ball the day that they took their test? Or most probably, the day they took their 6th test? So much ineptitude is shown on the road that we would need a whole Google server to highlight it. So to save your time and Googles server space, today we will only Take The Blame™ for erratic drivers.

Some people are given driving licenses when clearly they should be given common sense lessons.

They are like Sunday Drivers but worse. At least with a Sunday driver you know what you are going to get. They don’t try and deceive you into believing they actually can drive at a speed which in any way matches reality. If you are in a 60mph zone they will drive at 25mph, if you are in a 40mph zone then their speed will drop to around 6mph. If you are cruising down the motorway then they will hog the middle lane, completely oblivious to everything around them, cruise control locked at a regular 44mph. But they are honest in their ineptitude. They cant drive and they are not ashamed of it. Sunday drivers, for all their maddening ineptitude, do not deviate from their ridiculous course. Erratic drivers do, and that makes them worse.

Erraitic drivers see this junction as a playground to show off just how retarded they are

You are approaching a junction and a car is signalling to pull out. As you approach you weigh up the scenario; distance to travel, approach speed, possible causes for deviation. Everything looks fine, the car waiting to turn out of the junction has decided to wait for you to pass before pulling out. You relax. BUT NO. 10 metres from the junction and wammo!!! they decide to pull out. You slam on the breaks, reach for the horn to show your frustration and give them the finger. Obviously they don’t see or hear any of this.
Then the erratic behaviour begins. After pulling out like the Dukes of Hazard, they instantly hit the breaks and start driving Miss  Daisy. Its erratic. It makes no sense. Why drive like an escaped rapist for 3 seconds, put everyones life at risk and then drive really fucking slowly. We would like to Take The Blame for anyone who has had to put up with the erratic junction driver.

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