Is that a wart on your finger? Forget medical advice, You should blow it off with a shotgun. That’s what Sean Murphy did.

June 18, 2011

Take The Blame™ is recoiling. Recoiling in the same way that the 12-gauge shotgun recoiled when English Yorkshire man Sean Murphy used it to remove a wart on his finger. Ignoring doctors advice to “under no circumstances” remove the wart with a shotgun, Mr. Murphy took the medical world into his own hands and blew the wart, and most of his finger, off.

Lets be happy the wart was only on Sean Murphy's finger, otherwise this story could have had a very unhappy ending

Now you might think that Sean Murphy was acting irrationally; not everybody would take on the same course of medication. But this incident was 5 years in the making. 5 years of mental anguish and distraction. 5 years of doctors and creams and medication and, above all, mind destroying itching and scratching. And of course the strange looks, bizarre comments and sniggering from anyone who saw his finger. “haha, look at that mans finger“, they would say.

Taking a Beretta shotgun that Mr. Murphy claims he found under a hedge earlier in the year, the operation was primed. After following E.R., Casualty and House for many years, the Yorkshire man knew that beer was a very good painkiller. Unlike a traditional anaesthetic, beer doesn’t leave the patient unconscious, but free to carry out the operation themself. It also tastes nice. So, pissed, loaded and wielding a 12-gauge shotgun that could blow the head off of a Bison at 6 steps, Mr Murphy lined up the pesky wart and pulled the trigger. The shotgun exploded and so did the finger. The operation was a resounding success.

Doctors across the land are forgoing scalpels for shotguns

The medical world failed repeatedly for over 5 years. Sean Murphy  succeeded in around 3 seconds. And could now faces 15 years in prison for illegal ownership of a firearm. Jesus, as if shooting your own finger off wasn’t enough.  Under British law it is illegal to have a Beretta 12-gauge shotgun under your bed, and firing it indoors, even if it is in a medical operation, is frowned upon.

In reality, no court in the land is actually going to send such a mastermind criminal/doctor to prison for 15 years. Mr Murphy received only a suspended sentence, 100 hours community service and a fine of $100. A fair price to pay in Mr Murphys eyes.

I didn’t expect to lose my finger as well when I shot it, but the gun recoiled and that was it, the wart was gone and so was most of my finger

I’m happy with that. The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble

We would like to Take The Blame™ for the inability of the medical world to help a man who’s only solution was to blow his finger off with a shotgun.

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One Response to Is that a wart on your finger? Forget medical advice, You should blow it off with a shotgun. That’s what Sean Murphy did.

  1. [...] medication is seeping through the weak fabric of society quicker than a budgie in a gas mine as an ever increasing number of imbecilic, senseless, witless – or just plain insane – medical junkies get tired of [...]

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