Diamond in the cockpit. Banker with pornstar name lands David Cameron’s plane? Double standards anyone?

July 22, 2011

Footballers, politicians and bankers. Don’t you just hate them? Lying, thieving, adulterating, insidious, scheming, clandestine manipulators of the modern world. Or maybe they just get a bad press? Either way, it doesn’t help public adoration when they are seen to be above the law and recipients of special treatment that the common man would never be able to acquire. Say, for example, being allowed onto the flight deck of a Virgin Atlantic

Some people, well, they just have a face, something about it...you know?

Passengers in the cockpit is something that, after September 11th, became most definitely a “dont do this, we have given the pilot a gun, if you go in the cockpit, he will shoot you” kind of deal. It is illegal in British skies (Department of Justice spokersman: “Passengers are not permitted in the cockpit while the engines are running. The rules apply to all UK-registered planes and to any plane operating in UK airspace.”). So what about if we up the stakes and put the Prime Minister of Britain on the same said plane? Surely it is even more illegal? How about the Trade Minister and the International Development Secretary? Even though it is a charter flight flying to England from Africa so David Cameron can re-open Parliament to discuss some other news related abuses of power by modern day wankers public hate figures, why not board some tourists? Then lets put Barclay’s Chief Executive Bob Diamond in the cockpit. Hell, why not. Then why not get some wet-behind-the ears flight attendant to joke that the 95 million pound banker is landing the Boeing 747 commercial jet-line

Because this is exactly what happened as David Cameron flew back to England last week in the wake of the phone hacking scandal rocking Rupert Murdoch and the News Corporation empire. Why he was on a plane with the chief of Barclay’s bank is not disclosed. Probably just coincidence.

Having been invited onto the flight deck as the Virgin plane approached the UK, Bob Diamond was, according to a flight attendant who informed the ignorant passengers comfortably seated in rows A through Z, soon the pilot of an “exemplary landing”. This claim was later denied by both Barclays and Virgin. The later released a statement to say the head of Barclays and the banker with a pornstar name (Bob Diamond. Come on) was in the so-called jump seat and was not in control of the plane as it touched down.


Taketheblame™ would like to apologise and take the blame for this show of ineptitude. From the airline and pilot that allowed him on the deck; for the flight attendant who couldn’t help but make crap jokes and most of all, for bankers being above the law.

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