Strange white powders, fishing and death. If ever there was reason to NOT put things you find floating in the Ocean up your nose, then this is it.

August 2, 2011

And as if you ever needed one. Right? Wrong. This story is no Finding Nemo or The Little Mermaid and as sure as the nuclear contamination coursing through the gills of the fish in the bay of Fukushima , Disney and Pixar will not be diving back into the deep blue sea for their next children’s blockbuster and basing it on this story of ineptitude. Mainly because the beginning and the end are pretty much the same thing, end in death and are about as happy as Bambi on an acid come down.

Out on a sailing trip with his brother Kenneth, Thomas Swindal, 53 years old and really the age of someone who should know better, saw something floating in the water. Normally, at least if you frequent the beautiful coastal beaches of The United Kingdom, if you see something floating in the water, the last place (or maybe penultimate place) you would want to put it is up your nose. But this isn’t Skegness, this is Miami, Florida, where the water runs clear as viper venom and the men who sail upon it think nothing of snorting strange white substances which could have fallen from the submerged cocaine hold of a Mexican drug sub, hitched a ride on the Miami current and bobbed right into their fishing net. Because Mexican is the new Colombian when it comes to cocaine. Only what Thomas Swindal, 53 (because, really, you should know better) white lined up his chevy chase wasn’t Al Pacino’s left overs, but something far worse.

Trade: Phenodihydrochloride Benzelex, Street: The embalmer

About 90 minutes after intoxication, the last remaining Swindal brother and the one who didn’t snort the mysterious white powder, reports that things took a turn for the Dead Calm, crazy man on a boat worse.

Thomas began running around the boat, throwing things into the water, including a cell phone and a VHF radio. Thomas also picked up knives, pliers and a gaff and removed the cowling from the engine, which fell overboard and sank

Such was his distress at his brothers bizarre behaviour Kenneth confiscated all the other sharp objects from the boat and tossed them overboard, along with the remaining white substance. Sadly, this was too little too late and Thomas Swindall later succumbed to his poison.

Take The Blame™ would like to advise you all, under no circumstances, snort strange looking substances you find floating in the open sea. Because it probably didnt get sterilised and hand wrapped by fair skinned virgins from the Galapagos islands. It probably came from here…..

Take your pick from mysterious white looking powder you shouldn't be snorting.

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