Inept Drug smuggler hides cocaine in clams. Gets caught. Obviously.

September 9, 2011

This is a clam. It is not for smuggling drugs

This is a clam. If ever something was designed for not smuggling drugs in, then this was probably it. It is small. It is a mollusc. In what world would you fill these with cocaine and attempt to smuggle them into America? Oh yes, this world. This one which is full of ineptitude.

Top 10 global drug smugglers? None of them; not Escobar, not Marks, not Fuentes, not Loera, not even your local dope peddler, would think to smuggle drugs into The United States of America in a bag of clams. Even Birds Eye wouldn’t do it. So why did David Pocasangre Vaquiz from Venuezela do it? The reason is probably his ineptitude and why he is not a global drug lord but a small time crook smuggling a poultry 5 ounces of Cocaine into Dulles airport.

After arriving at the Virginia airport on a flight from Panama Mr Vaquiz passed through airport security and set some noses wagging. Initially it could well have been the smell. Most good cooks and Jamie Oliver advise you to keep clams thoroughly chilled during transportation and to eat as quickly as possible on removal from the sea. They also recommend not eating them if they are warm, dead or refuse to open when boiled. There is nothing about what you should do if they have been glued shut, stuffed in a handbag and carried half away across the United States of America.

Sea food tends to perish when exposed to high aeroplane cargo hold temperatures and with this comes a putrid smell. Perhaps it was this stench which first lead the airport staff to X-ray the hand baggage of the passenger who smelled of rotting fish. The X-ray showed clams full of cocaine.

The end result of such incompetence is obviously going to be a prison sentence where Mr Vaquiz will have plenty of time to concoct some more ingenious smuggling concepts.

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