Teddy Bear mistaken for rare Bengali White Tiger by Hampshire constabulary. Morons abound.

October 3, 2011

Lets play a small game of spot the difference.

One of these is an extremly rare Bengali Tiger. There are 200 left in the wild. The other is a stuffed toy won at a fairground. Can you tell which is which?

How did you do? Did you manage to decipher the code? If you are unsure, the animal on the right of this picture is a Bengali White Tiger. Perhaps you can notice the sharp teeth, the killer look in the eye, the huge clawed feet sporting 9-inch dagger sharp claws or the monumental size of this beautiful, streamlined, killing machine. Or, perhaps, you can just see the picture on the left is a stuffed replica. So if we can tell the difference, why cant the Hampshire establishment?

Saturday Afternoon and the only sound in the air is that of cricket bat on cricket ball in the green fields of Hampshire, southern England. That and the guttural, Indian growl of the Siberian White Tiger as it prowls the hedgerows in search of prey. At least this is what one local resident thought was happening when they noticed the 3-metre Panthera tigris stalking the bushes in this otherwise peaceful part of the world. Paralysed with fear their only hope of survival was Ray Mears or the local constabulary. Not being able to contact the former they opted for the latter and before long the deep, chopping, wooshing sound of a helicopter was heard overhead.

The Hampshire Bengali Helicopter Search and Rescue operation

Unfortunately our good Samaritan had confused a stuffed teddy bear for the real thing which is why the thermal imaging cameras that were housed in the helicopter did not pick up any heat emitting from the bushes. As the helicopter dipped and rose, Ride of The Valkyries no doubt pounding from the door speakers, the infra red showed no sign of the Indian beast.

As this scene from Apocalypse Now was unfolding over a field, nearby word had got out and the locals were running scared. A tiger was on the loose and cover needed to be found. Golfers at a nearby club left the fairway and a cricket match at the Rose Bowl was delayed. The local zoo was contacted and expects were soon loaded up with tranquilizer guns.

Then the helicopter downdraft caused a movement in the bushes below. On closer inspection the culprit was discovered. A teddy bear. We would like to take the blame for the loss of tax payers money on such inept confusion.

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3 Responses to Teddy Bear mistaken for rare Bengali White Tiger by Hampshire constabulary. Morons abound.

  1. Jo Bryant on May 25, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    This is really good. Funny and insightful. :)

    • thechef on May 26, 2011 at 11:29 pm

      well thank you Jo. We do our best to inform and enlighten whilst adding a smile. Its quiet easy to add a smile when there is sooooo much ineptitude to point fingers at!!

  2. Neil Killion on May 27, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried. Laugh out loud (not the silly LOL) moment. Thanks

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