Fat Cat killed by Cat

January 4, 2012

Once upon a time curiosity may well have killed the cat, but that time has long since passed and these days and now the shoe is most definately on the other paw. Indeed the 4-footed presents from long dead alien cultures are now pitting their springy feet against the spreading fat cats of China. And it would appear they are winning. Admittedly they are having to put themselves in Chinese cat stew to accomplish their mission, but that is just a footnote.

The fat cat in question is Chinese billionaire Long Liyuan who died on the 23rd December in Guandong Province after he himself ate a cat. As with anything in China, the news does not leave the country with feline speed but more details are slowly coming to light. Mr Liyuan made his mega fortune in forests. Now, judging by the cost of Christmas trees, it is quite easy to see how such a fortune could be amassed, but since the Chinese don’t celebrate Christmas or, indeed the trees that frequent this most unholy of holy celebrations, how do you make a billion from a tree? Ship them around the world stuffed with cocaine in an elaborate bark-coated smuggling organisation? Who knows? And one supposes we never will as Mr Liyuan is now lying in a box made of trees. How ironic.

What really happened to Long Liyuan is being investigated by Chinese police in Quandong Province and although there was a cat involved, the story is much more fishy. It would appear that Long Liyuan was having dinner with Huang Guang when he, one imagines, went a bit red in the cheeks, fell dizzy and took himself off to hospital where he promptly died of heart failure. He had fallen prey to the poison that Huang Guang had allegedly slipped into the local cat delicacy they were eating.

Huang Guang, an agricultural official, was advising Mr Liyuan on a lease that he was seeking to take out on a piece of forest in the province, when things turned sinister in a way that would have had Miss Marpel and Poirot fighting over the deduction process.

Huang, who was helping Long take a lease on a forest, had himself used funds provided by Long. This led to an economic dispute and gave Huang the idea to kill Long with poison.”

Chinese fat cat is killed by cat

The plot, like the stew at the heart of it, thickens with some sleuth like detective work. It turns out that Long Liyuan was no saint himself, using Huang Guang to get planning permission in exchange for bribes amounting to anywhere between 0 and 400,000 US dollars. Meanwhile Huang was running up debts elsewhere and hit Long up for some more funds. When a project they were working on together began to stall the two parties showed their true colours with Long threatening to expose Huang. At some point in the whole murky timeline, Huang decided to Kill Long.

According to reports the two men, along with a third interested party, were eating at a local restaurant when Huang Guang excused himself from the table, slipped into the kitchen and sent the chef on a decoy errand and slipped the local suicide plant Gelsemium Elegans into the bubbling pot. A pot he himself was set to eat from. On returning to the table he commented that the food tasted a bit unusual (cat?) and pushed his plate aside. Mr Liyuan wolfed his down with deathly consequences. The cat got his tongue.

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