Three billion first class stamps bearing the iconic gaze of the Statue of Liberty have been printed by the US Postal Service. Unfortunately there is one glaring problem; one searing piece of ineptitude that would have left a bitter taste in the ladys’ mouth and should leave most New Yorkers seething: It isn’t the real Statue of Liberty but her less attractive, more slutty Las Vegan replica. Yes, the US Postal Service tried to immortalise the Iron Giant by ignoring her weathered face and using the air-brushed, fake-tanned, plastic-surgeoned, lypo-suctioned, younger – they are always younger – sister. Inept.

The glaring Take The Blame™  finger of ineptitude is pointing straight at the USPS but they bear the scars only of regret, not sorrow.

“We still love the stamp design and would have selected this photograph anyway,” Roy Betts, a post office spokesman, told the New York Times.

Perhaps forgoing the original for a better looking replica is quite poetic in the land where callus, unnecessary facial alterations are gobbled up like nachos at a Mexican Barbecue but it’s a smack in the face to what she represents and a middle-finger salute to those who live under her watch. If you are going to sell your commemorative stamps to an unsuspecting nation and feel that three billion of the little fellas is a nice round number, at least have the decency to use the original symbol you are trying to commemorate. We take the blame.

****

A little bit of history goes a long way, especially in a country which Europeans would claim lacks it, so here is a slice. Where did she come from? The Statue of Liberty we mean. She’s European. By Jove, She’s French. Back before the time of surrendering monkeys and trans-Atlantic hate mongering, the French and the Americans used to be best of chums. Indeed, without the French, the American war against the British might not have ended the way it did. Perhaps it needs to be said that the hatred the French had for the British could well have been instrumental in the French-American love affair. ‘If we can’t beat the English ourselves, lets help someone else have a go‘ might well have been their mantra.

One hundred years after American Independence, a group of French toffs were sitting around a table, drinking mighty fine red wine, getting hammered and discussing the French model of freedom and how it was so similar in philosophy to the new American one. They decided to build a big iron woman as a present and sent it over to New York.

.

Our ethos is simple, we are here to take the blame. Apparently we live in a blame culture; and in a blame culture there needs to be someone who you can turn to when there is nobody else who will shoulder your blame. Whatever the reason, whatever the occasion, we are there for you. From the simple and the transparent – be it stubbing your toe or spilling your tea; waking up late for work or missing the bus – to the arduous, perplexing, intricate and convoluted – your dog died; you hate your boss; the IOC decided to oust you from your abode and build an Olympic sized Ice-rink in your back garden and erect an athletes village in your once pristine street-market turning a once thriving local community into a dull and bland advert for a hotch-potch amalgamation of too much glass, no class and student residents. We are there. Blame us.

Politics, science, philosophy, food, revolution, environment, education, celebrity, television, crime, animals, history, love, money, relationships, family, sport, technology, travel, war, weather, health, business, birthdays, parties, celebrations, drugs, employment, nature………….and breathe…………..cybercrime, nuclear energy, credit cards, pornography, computer games, graffitti, hollywood. Kitchen sink. There is blame.

If you have anything you want us to take the blame for. Tell us. Let us know. Post a link. Send a letter. And we will publish an apology, allowing you to sleep soundly, safe in the knowledge that the blame rests with us. Go on, don’t be shy.

Who said Taketheblame wasn’t revolutionary? Who said we could’nt be held responsible for things on a grandiose scale? Well, in an unprecedented move, not seen since OJ didn’t take the blame, we are holding our hands, arms and feet up and taking the blame for things that haven’t even happened yet. That’s right. We are taking the blame for the future. For absurdities, wrong doings and plain mentalisms that are yet to occur, but probably will.

Say goodbye Sainsburys

The year is 2234, Google and Tesco are the only two companies in the world. Anyone who works in any sector, in any country in any dialect works for one or the other. Self-employment died out with the Saudis in the last throws of rebellion some 80 years ago when Tesco finally took over the last remaining oil field and with it, sole right to sell petrol on Tesco forecourts throughout the entire world. The last remaining farmers on the African sub-continent finally gave up the right to their own land and their own produce 50 years prior and the Europeans barely got out of the 21st Century. Western Europe didnt. With petroleum and food finally conquered, for the time being they can rest on their laurels. It was, in hindsight, always going to be the two most sort after products that caused the most trouble. The vast Alaskan, South American and Antarctic oil fields found in the early 22nd century have enough oil to last well into the 27th century. Enticing every farmer on the face of the planet to produce food solely for the blue and white of Tesco proved to be trickier than fixing a lightbulb. With an estimated 657 million small holdings and farms in the early 20th century, that is a lot of compensation. How they did it, I for one don’t want to know, I like my hands and face as they are. Broadcasting it would only end my life prematurely. Use your imagination. There are only Tesco shops and they sell everything. everything.

Google, after the bloodbath with Microsoft that resulted in the loss of so many, has control of the airwaves – it was discovered in 2007 that the “white noise” in the “space” between traditional “analogue” “channels” could be used by Google and their microscopic engineers to build unfathomable ways and means to transport information on a truly spectacular scale. The advertising revenue was such that the dollar became obsolete and the “Google” soon became the only currency in the world. Banks collapsed, countries capitulated, Jerry Springer became popular again as myriad of billionaires needed a channel to vent their spleen. The people loved it as there was nothing better than watching a broke former-billionaire cry on TV. So all information, economies, wealth, knowledge and media is under their control. This about covers everything.

Taketheblame would like to apologise to the people of the next millennium. We are truly sorry. It is our fault.

The horrors of war will never be truly witnessed by those that do not actually fight. CNN and rolling news may go some way to portraying the violence and day-to-day occurrences, but they are viewed through a glass box and edited and controlled. The propaganda trail is as long as the bloody history it seeks to document. Books are a better way but word of mouth is the best. Not only can it document the horrors but also the niceties, and there are niceties in war however warped. One thing that there isn’t enough of in war is apologising. Perhaps it shows weakness in the eyes of the enemy, perhaps most are not sorry for the heinous crimes they commit. Governments do not apologise, armies do not apologise, commanding officers do not apologise. Have you ever heard anybody apologise for war? Bob Dylan sang about it, that was probably as close as we ever got.

In October of 1942 the defence ship SS City of Cairo left the port of Bombay and headed home to England, unescorted. Its route was to take it via Durban and Cape Town in South Africa and then Pernambucco in Brazil. During much of the voyage it would be sailing through occupied waters. German U-boats were patrolling. It was on the second leg, 2000 miles from Brazil when tradegy struck. U-68, captained by Karl-Friedrich Merten, struck the SS City of Cairo with a missile and the order to abandon ship was given. Unescorted and thousands of miles from land, any chance of survival was slim to none. After some 20 minutes, U-68 fired again and sank the SS Cairo. The story then takes on a different account.

U-68 surfaced and gave the survivors their location (2000 miles from Brazil, 1000 from Africa and 500 from the island of Helena). He then uttered one of the most famous apologies in memory and wished the survivors a good night. “Goodnight, and sorry for sinking you.” And he meant it. The survivors of SS City of Cairo were picked up some 2 weeks later near the island of Helena.

Read the full article of war bravery here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/ww2peopleswar/stories/77/a4440377.shtml