The futures bright. Hopefully not mushroom cloud orange.
In February 2005 Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez accused America of entertaining ideas of political assasination whilst he himself was entertaining the Venezuelan people with his weekly radio and TV show. Now, 7 years on, he has upped the ante and brought nuclear war into the equation by blaming the United States for possible nuclear war in the Middle East.
Once again using his weekly TV and radio broadcasts he has pointed his big chubby finger at the United States, accusing them of inciting War, and this time there could be reason to his madness. Tensions between Tehran and the West have been increasing by the hour as more evidence of Iran’s determination to produce its own nuclear arsenal unsettles the (extremely temperamental) status quo. Only last week the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) released a report on the Iranian nuclear program highlighting its fears and concerns about the military connotations of its program.
“The Agency has serious concerns regarding possible military dimensions to Iran’s nuclear programme….. (The IAEA encourages Iran) to engage substantively with the agency without delay for the purpose of providing clarifications regarding possible military dimensions to Iran’s nuclear program.” Worrying. The report in its entirety is available here.
So there is concern in the West that The Republic of Iran is gearing up for weapons capabilities. What that capability represents in terms of stability in the Middle East is a hornets nest, and a nest that Hugo Chavez believes the Americans are going to possibly eradicate with a big red button. To make matters worse the rhetoric coming out of Tehran is not exactly passive. Ahmadinejad is not known for bowing to pressure. During last years rounds of political pressure and sanctions he had this to say.
With Iran being provocative in its flaunting of increased nuclear capabilities and The United States adamant on preventing nuclear proliferation proliferating further, then perhaps Chavez, although delusional with his cries of nuclear war, is not so far off the mark with his war prediction. Britain has already stepped up its military plans for Iranian (specific, nuclear targets) attack by examining where best to deploy Royal Navy ships and tomahawk laden submarines. And then there is America and Israel.
Whether Israel has the capabilities to destroy the nuclear facilities of Iran sufficiently enough to put back the nuclear program, or indeed stop it all together or not, talk of attack is already advanced. As recently as early November the Israeli cabinet was discussing attacks on Iranian facilities in the immediate future; a strategy that has been met with both support (by Iranian Prime minister and Defence secretary Binyamin Netanyahu and Ehud Barak respectively) and opposition. Any attack from Israel would be, as Iran has often stated, see retaliation against America.
And what of America? With an election looming and a population, for all their patriotism, which must be growing tired of war after war – four and counting – Americas current administration must fear another invasion, and that’s without even bringing the cost of war during a possible double dip recession into question. The population would be against it, parts of Capital Hill would be against it, the battle weary would be against it and with every escalation of war, the stakes are rising. Should Iran be invaded then the outcome is earth shattering. China and Russia have been supplying weapons for years and China is Irans biggest buyer of Oil, indeed most of China’s imported oil comes from Iran. So whose side are they on? For any security council sanctions to come to fruition then full council support is needed. With China and Russia holding vetos, there is… oh, about Fat Chance of anything coming to pass there.
Should Iran get the bomb then The West could see a cataclysmic shift in oil distribution from the Middle East, especially, as many commentators point out, the real victims of Iran obtaining fully functional nuclear weapons would not be Israel but Iran’s other close neighbours: UAE, Bahrain and Saudi Arabia. The picture is bleak. But not as bleak as the one below.
Alledged American military prescence. Iran is surrounded.
Europe maybe collapsing around the very foundations of the monetary mechanism that was imagined and constructed to unite, unify and catapult the EuroZone to the very head of the financial world table, but we don’t have time for that at the moment. First we have to trawl our way through the weeks blame game.
We have coffee, Guns n’ Roses, The X-factor, basketball, serial killers and the President of The United States of America. What do they all have in common? Well, they have all been seduced and bedded by the Italian media, political, womaniser, seducer, bringer of chaos, football club owner, sex addicted megalomaniac and now, thank the Italian food Gods, EX-prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, and they all have been pointing and taking the blame this week.
Blame is engulfing Obama, now its lazy people and foreign investment
In order of importance, lets start with coffee. OK, the US president, he is probably more important than coffee. Reading between the lines and creating something amusing out of what, in reality, was a meandering piece of sleep inducing sedativity we are left with the cold-hard reality that the one-term President has blamed lazy, good-for-nothing Americans for the financial maelstrom which is sweeping the modernised world into the proverbial shit-tank. Kind of.
“We’ve been a little bit lazy, I think, over the last couple of decades”
Really Mr President? Who has been a bit lazy? The people? Way to win a vote contest sir. As the rest of America sat around watching TV, drinking beers, smoking joints, sleeping, lying in bed all day and generally being lazy, the President was in Hawaii (alright for some) having a “scripted” conversation with Boeing CEO James McNerney. Is a scripted conversation what it sounds like? Two men reading a conversation to each other which has already been scripted. How wonderful it would be if that were true.
During the scripted conversation Mr Obama, aside from blaming laziness, was addressing the real problem, as he sees it, for the current lack of foreign investment in the United States. After actually physically arriving on American soil and passing the I’m a celebrity get me out of here bush tucker challenge styled, jump, I say how high, give me your blood, your boots, your clothes and your motorcycle ivestment screening test, foreign investors then have to counter additional challenges to be given the US seal of approval to merely sell a few wicker arm chairs.
This isn’t the first time that Obama has blames economic problems on the obscure, only earlier this year he blamed ATM cash machines for the growing and uncontrollable unemployment rates currently afflicting the United States. This time he has at least but the blame on humans.
The evidence is wishy-washy as the current American governmental system is hardly a new one (by American standards). It’s a mixture of lazy people and difficult foreign investment administrative hoop jumping? Then why was the 1990s boom time? Between 1990 and 2001 foreign investment topped out at $300 billion, only to fall 66% in the following 2 years. A sudden case of weekday lie-ins? Or just cyclical? US foreign investment climbed healthily again during the second term of Bush, only to plummet back down to $150 billion in the early days of the Obama administration. Ups and downs, swings and roundabouts.
Unfortunately for the President, when you call somebody lazy at the start of what you are saying, it doesn’t matter how economically or politically sound or weak your proceeding arguments may be, people stop listening after the word “lazy”. Did you?
The US government has paid out over 600 million dollars to dead people. Sometimes it pays to be 6-feet under
What a curiosity. It turns out that the best way to earn tax payers money these days is to be dead. In a tale of ineptitude that can be seen from the outer reaches of space, the US government has given out over $600 million to people who have been classified as having left this planet. Dead. Bereft of Life, bloodless, erased, expired, pushing up daises. They’ve met their maker, kicked the bucket. They are taking a dirt nap. They are toast, they are ice and they are rich people. Richer than you and me and they are D. E. A. D dead.
According to a report by the United States Office of Personal Management, over the past five years over $600 million in benefit payments have been paid to the aforementioned dead people by the federal government. The benefit payments are normally destined for retired or disabled federal workers but now dead federal workers can be added to that list.
Although the $600 million only covers the past five years, one case of incalculable ineptitude was unearthed that highlights the complete ludicrous incompetence of the benefit payment system. The case in point involved over $500,000 of payments to the son of a man who had died 37 years previously. That is not even close. The bungling impotence only came to light when the son died! Had the father still been alive to enjoy his payments, he would have been 138.
In a system of government which is currently sitting at $14.7 trillion in debt, $600 million accounts for a tiny fraction of the ineptitude. It takes a mighty fine amount of concentration to blow 15 trillion, so what’s a few hundred million between dead friends? But the problem is that this blundering hole in the distribution of federal payments was made aware to the government in 2005. 6 years ago. Have they managed to fill the hole? Having given away 600 million in 5 years, the answer would seem to be a resounding NO. Not only are the federal government made aware of a festering wound in the distribution of benefit payments, they fail to do anything about it. Take The Blame™ would like to point the finger at some pretty fearsome ineptitude.
Once upon a time the bank was the place for cash withdrawals. Now your money is safer here.
In all 6 attempts have been made to rectify the problem since an inspector general’s report revealed defects in the Civil Service Retirement and Disability Fund in 2005, and not one of them has found a way to figure out the, one would have thought, fairly obvious singularity between death and life. Apparently it is too difficult to connect the death records with the benefit records. “Is he dead? yes, stop payment. Is he alive? yes, continue payment.” Mark Zuckerberg has connected 700 million computers, why can’t the federal government connect two?
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What can $600 million buy you these days? How about Foursquare? No, bit boring? OK, How about 1 week of intervention in the Libya crisis? Thats how much the first week cost. It is what Nokia received from Apple for patent litigation. It’s what a botox maker paid for illegal marketing.
A quango is not a soft drink; it is not a South American dictator, nor indeed an Amazonian reptile. It is not a colour and it is not a pretentious name for a pretentious bar. In fact, it is an acronym for quasi-autonomous non-governmental organisation and is pretty much as interesting as it sounds. Don’t all rush at once. The term first appeared in the late 1960s but it wasn’t until the doom-laden 80s that they really took off, popping into existence as often as the french transport system goes on strike.
This is a Kumquat. Not a Quango. A Quango is not a Kumquat and a Kumquat is not a Quango. Kapisch?
What does one do in a Quango? God knows. Essentially they are tax payer ran, non governmental organisations which regulate behaviour, carry out public services, give advice, offer consultation and, oh yeah, spend lots of money on things which have no connection with anything the Quango was originally created to do, palming off weak excuses to the very public who fund the strange named organisations in the first place.
OK, not all Quangos are so reckless in their ineptitude, but some are, and since we are here to highlight the ineptitude which oozes through the very fabric of society, let us begin. Step forward the Police Quango on Efficiency. Just swill that around your mouth before you continue. Efficiency. Such a lovely word. Efficient. Efficient what? Spending? OK, a police Quango on efficient spending. How to spend efficiently. Have you mulled it over enough?
So when you are set up to streamline police spending, to make police spending efficient, where do you begin? How about a karaoke machine? How about sexy lingerie? How about a trip to Edinburgh fucking zoo? How about… Bowling? Ten pin bowling. Yes, lets go ten pin bowling on a police spending Quango. Because that is exactly how you streamline police spending. You go ten pin bowling. Strike 1 to ineptitude.
Over the course of two years a police Quango spent over 2 million of your hard earned pounds on shit. On stuff you might spend a bank holiday Monday doing or a Friday night wining and dining the missus or trying to get into the pants of another. The National Policing Improvement Agency, your ineptitude is special. According to their website, they are,
The NPIA provides critical national services to support frontline policing. It helps the police to save money, operate more efficiently and enables us all to live in a safer society.
“We help the police save money”. Credit cards dished out to 150 members of the Improvement agency staff resulted in a hefty €20 000 average spent by each over the 2 years between 2008 and 2010, according to credit card statements, available to public viewing under freedom of information acts. As well as all of the aforementioned DIY garbage, the Quango also bought…….. golf trips, flowers, duck rides (WTF!), hotels, restaurants, lawnmowers…. need we go on?
Excuses given matched the audacity of the spending and include criminal set design for trainees as reason for buying the lingerie; the grass needed cutting and we all like ten pin fucking bowling. Gross mismanagement. Reckless, frivolous unnecessary spending by the inept. Take The Blame would like to point the finger and take the blame for other people spending your money on things you cant afford to buy.
Footballers, politicians and bankers. Don’t you just hate them? Lying, thieving, adulterating, insidious, scheming, clandestine manipulators of the modern world. Or maybe they just get a bad press? Either way, it doesn’t help public adoration when they are seen to be above the law and recipients of special treatment that the common man would never be able to acquire. Say, for example, being allowed onto the flight deck of a Virgin Atlantic plane.
Some people, well, they just have a face, something about it...you know?
Passengers in the cockpit is something that, after September 11th, became most definitely a “dont do this, we have given the pilot a gun, if you go in the cockpit, he will shoot you” kind of deal. It is illegal in British skies (Department of Justice spokersman: “Passengers are not permitted in the cockpit while the engines are running. The rules apply to all UK-registered planes and to any plane operating in UK airspace.”). So what about if we up the stakes and put the Prime Minister of Britain on the same said plane? Surely it is even more illegal? How about the Trade Minister and the International Development Secretary? Even though it is a charter flight flying to England from Africa so David Cameron can re-open Parliament to discuss some other news related abuses of power by modern day wankers public hate figures, why not board some tourists? Then lets put Barclay’s Chief Executive Bob Diamond in the cockpit. Hell, why not. Then why not get some wet-behind-the ears flight attendant to joke that the 95 million pound banker is landing the Boeing 747 commercial jet-liner?
Because this is exactly what happened as David Cameron flew back to England last week in the wake of the phone hacking scandal rocking Rupert Murdoch and the News Corporation empire. Why he was on a plane with the chief of Barclay’s bank is not disclosed. Probably just coincidence.
Having been invited onto the flight deck as the Virgin plane approached the UK, Bob Diamond was, according to a flight attendant who informed the ignorant passengers comfortably seated in rows A through Z, soon the pilot of an “exemplary landing”. This claim was later denied by both Barclays and Virgin. The later released a statement to say the head of Barclays and the banker with a pornstar name (Bob Diamond. Come on) was in the so-called jump seat and was not in control of the plane as it touched down.
Taketheblame™ would like to apologise and take the blame for this show of ineptitude. From the airline and pilot that allowed him on the deck; for the flight attendant who couldn’t help but make crap jokes and most of all, for bankers being above the law.
Would you invite this man to your BBQ?
As Arizona firefighters continue to tackle wildfires which have already burnt over 732,000 acres of land, a blame game is brewing which is only adding fuel to the flames. US senator John McCain has blamed illegal immigrants for starting some of the fires.
“There is substantial evidence that some of these fires have been caused by people who have crossed our border illegally“
What evidence? Well, Senator McCain is not saying. Speaking to CNN, the outspoken senator said that illegal immigrants started fires to send each other messages!!! WTF. Don’t they have mobile phones? Smoke signals? He also said that illegal immigrants started fires to keep warm and distract police officers. Again, evidence to back up these ludicrous claims? No. And as for keeping warm, the current temperature in Arizona? 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Keeping warm in a desert?
Is this a smoke signal or for keeping warm? Or just a wild, raging fire.
Without any public evidence to back up his claims of blame, there has been retaliation. “People are looking for someone to blame. It’s easier to fan the flames of intolerance, especially in Arizona,” said Randy Parraz, a civil rights advocate and no stranger to Mr. McCain having successfully ran against him in 2010.
This isnt the first time Senator McCain has blamed illegal immigrants for life’s ills. In 2010 he blamed illegal immigrants for home invasions and murder. (http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/john-mccain-immigration-reversal-complete-danged-fence/story?id=10616090)
Angelo Falcon, the president of the National Institute for Latino Policy, criticized McCain for what he called “increasingly blatant” political opportunism and in a letter to CNN, he said that Mr McCain, without releasing his evidence, may as well “blame aliens from outer space for the fires“. Hear hear.
Three billion first class stamps bearing the iconic gaze of the Statue of Liberty have been printed by the US Postal Service. Unfortunately there is one glaring problem; one searing piece of ineptitude that would have left a bitter taste in the ladys’ mouth and should leave most New Yorkers seething: It isn’t the real Statue of Liberty but her less attractive, more slutty Las Vegan replica. Yes, the US Postal Service tried to immortalise the Iron Giant by ignoring her weathered face and using the air-brushed, fake-tanned, plastic-surgeoned, lypo-suctioned, younger – they are always younger – sister. Inept.
The glaring Take The Blame™ finger of ineptitude is pointing straight at the USPS but they bear the scars only of regret, not sorrow.
Perhaps forgoing the original for a better looking replica is quite poetic in the land where callus, unnecessary facial alterations are gobbled up like nachos at a Mexican Barbecue but it’s a smack in the face to what she represents and a middle-finger salute to those who live under her watch. If you are going to sell your commemorative stamps to an unsuspecting nation and feel that three billion of the little fellas is a nice round number, at least have the decency to use the original symbol you are trying to commemorate. We take the blame.
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A little bit of history goes a long way, especially in a country which Europeans would claim lacks it, so here is a slice. Where did she come from? The Statue of Liberty we mean. She’s European. By Jove, She’s French. Back before the time of surrendering monkeys and trans-Atlantic hate mongering, the French and the Americans used to be best of chums. Indeed, without the French, the American war against the British might not have ended the way it did. Perhaps it needs to be said that the hatred the French had for the British could well have been instrumental in the French-American love affair. ‘If we can’t beat the English ourselves, lets help someone else have a go‘ might well have been their mantra.
One hundred years after American Independence, a group of French toffs were sitting around a table, drinking mighty fine red wine, getting hammered and discussing the French model of freedom and how it was so similar in philosophy to the new American one. They decided to build a big iron woman as a present and sent it over to New York.
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If you are a politician and decide to be part of a political party which actively promotes anti-pornography laws in your country, it is probably a good idea not to download or watch pornography whilst IN PARLIAMENT. As the laws of ineptitude dictate, this is exactly what happened in Indonesia this week. The politician in question was Mr Arifinto (he only goes by one name, like Dr. No, or Ronaldo).
Common knowledge dictates that 90% of the time, politics is about as exciting as a conversation about Internet marketing or the current sales forecast for bolts. This is of no concern to the mass public who, faced with the boredom, switch on Facebook and forget about politics – and real life for that matter, but that’s another Blame. This is not the case for the unfortunate souls (politicians) who have to sit for hour-upon-hour of mindless, repetitive, pointless debate; for them, the only escape is sleep. Or, if you are Mr Arifinto of the Islamic Prosperous Justice Party (PKS) in Indonesia, porn. Porn is definitely more stimulating than politics, but like all good things, there is a time and a place; and the middle of a filmed parliament debate is probably not one of them.
Obviously being caught with your trousers down (literally) at any time is embarrassing but when you are a member of the PKS who have been vocal in pursuing anti-pornography laws in Indonesia, and a out-spoken supporter yourself, being caught so red-handed is ineptitude of the highest order. The story broke on Friday and since then the Indonesian front pages have been splashed with stories, innuendo and pictures. The social networking sites have been bulging at their denim semen seams and Mr Arifinto had no choice but to stand down Monday morning. “It’s my decision, Nobody tried to coerce me”, he added on departure.
The ineptitude is blatant and Mr Arifinto took the blame and stepped down. The consequences may, however, not end there. Indonesia has a population of over 230 million people and the largest muslim population on Earth. Of late, a small but growing fraction has become more vocal and extreme in their views. A number of highly controversial laws have been passed in recent times, the anti-pornography law being one of them, and one that Mr Arifinto helped to pass. That the law gives draconian penalties for public kissing (fines and up to 15 years in prison) and anything remotely connected to erotic art, exposure or pornography is prohibited, the global sight of a member of the party actively looking at porn in the middle of a parliament debate should raise more than a few eye-brows.
Questions now remain. Chiefly, should Mr Arifinto be prosecuted under the same anti-pornography laws which he himself campaigned for in the first place. Ahh. Sweet sweet irony.
Some things in life are pretty self-explanatory, obvious and without rebuke. Not allowing 7-year olds to roam the countryside firing shotguns at all and sundry is surely one of such things? Well apparently not. At least not according to the Gloucestershire police department, who, in 2008 issued a 7-year old with a shotgun license. According to the constabulary in documents obtained by the BBC, “the application for a licence was submitted and supported by the boy’s father, who is himself a firearm and shotgun certificate holder“.
The Gloucestershire police department has not been alone in its folly. During the last three years Britain’s finest have deemed it appropriate to issue shotgun certificates to 13 children under the age of 10. That’s 13 children walking around with the states permission to brandish firearms. Big, shotgun-sized firearms. Now the fox hunting brigade and their peers are sure to have some sort of rebuttal to this ineptitude; as if giving 7-year olds the right to fire guns is in keeping with the countryside way of life and a God given right to the Gloucestershire bourgeoisie. No. Children shouldn’t be allowed to canter around the countryside blowing pheasants off of barn roofs. Take the blame would like to highlight the ineptitude of the forces at power in brandishing such certificates and take the blame for it.
During the past three years 10 certificates have been issued to nine year olds and two forces, West Mercia and Cumbria, deemed it suitable to issue two 8-year olds with licenses (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12840557). A spokesman for West Mercia police went as far as to say that “thorough checks were made before any licence was granted“, unfortunately this thorough checking didn’t actually involve looking at the child or asking the child their age, either of which would have resulted in the number 8 being discovered. Perhaps the 8-year olds in West Mercia are more advanced than their army, plastic cap-gun toting peers in other counties.
The British Association for Shooting and Conversation has a spokesman. His name is Steve Bloomfield and he says that age is “irrelevant” when it comes to issuing shotguns licenses as the decision is made by very experienced police officers. In full.
“…And the age is irrelevant. It’s the mental aptitude, and the stability of the family, and the stature of that young person that decides it – the age doesn’t decide it at all.”
Mental aptitude and stature? According to the dictionary, the definition of stature is the high level of respect gained by impressive development or achievement; “a man of great stature”. See how it doesn’t read a ‘child’ of great stature. Ineptitude is rife in the whole affair. That these people can deem such young children capable of the maturity to brandish such weapons is in-keeping with so much of the insanity currently on show, not just in the laws of these shores, but everywhere. So you can shoot pigeons with double-barrelled shotguns at seven but you can’t smoke, drink, vote, drive, leave home, marry, buy matches or watch ghostbusters without adult supervision. Lets just open the flood gates and put these mature young adults behind the wheel of a tractor whilst they tear up the countryside smoking cuban cigars.
In a great piece of logistical and geographical planning, the Government Department of International Development (DfiD) has two offices; one in London and one in East Kilbride, Scotland. A nice clean round trip of 800 miles. In the first 6 months of 2010 a handful of government officials – who incidentally haven’t been named – bought 404 first class tickets for the 6-hour journey clocking up £48, 337 in ticket sales on route. Being government officials and obviously too good to sit in the horrendous cattle stalls out back, they charged the tickets to you, the tax payer (Telegraph politics for more). They are too good to sit with you but they are not too good to spend your money on Virgin wine and the nice table lamps that first class offers up. They also had the luxury of drinking their coffee from real china cups, not those plastic monstrosities.
A standard ticket – according to the www.thetrainline.com – between London Euston and East Kilbride costs £114.90. A first class tickets knocks the counter up to £436. What exactly do you get for 4-times the price, apart from the aforementioned table lamp and wine? Maybe it’s quieter? Perhaps the officials who had to make the journey preferred the colour scheme up in first class? The wi-fi reception is better? Whatever it is that made the upgrade so necessary 404 times, cost nearly £50.000 that wasn’t theirs. Is there a feeling of such overpowering hubris that drives politician after politician to abuse their position and travel through life at a station above their calling? Is the seat so much more comfortable, the view so much clearer, the air so much more breathable that taking the 8.15am to East Kilbride is, without doubt, a first class affair for these men? If you want to travel in a bigger seat politicians, pay for it yourself.
What makes the arrogance even more difficult to stomach is that some ministers had ignored travel requests imposed at the same time. Indeed, in May of 2010, Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell actually banned first class travel after taking office (we like him. We don’t like that it took so long for such an obvious ban to be imposed.) His demands obviously fell on some deaf ears.
We would like to take the blame for fat men taking advantage of their positions and having a free lunch on you.
Our ethos is simple, we are here to take the blame. Apparently we live in a blame culture; and in a blame culture there needs to be someone who you can turn to when there is nobody else who will shoulder your blame. Whatever the reason, whatever the occasion, we are there for you. From the simple and the transparent – be it stubbing your toe or spilling your tea; waking up late for work or missing the bus – to the arduous, perplexing, intricate and convoluted – your dog died; you hate your boss; the IOC decided to oust you from your abode and build an Olympic sized Ice-rink in your back garden and erect an athletes village in your once pristine street-market turning a once thriving local community into a dull and bland advert for a hotch-potch amalgamation of too much glass, no class and student residents. We are there. Blame us.
Politics, science, philosophy, food, revolution, environment, education, celebrity, television, crime, animals, history, love, money, relationships, family, sport, technology, travel, war, weather, health, business, birthdays, parties, celebrations, drugs, employment, nature………….and breathe…………..cybercrime, nuclear energy, credit cards, pornography, computer games, graffitti, hollywood. Kitchen sink. There is blame.
If you have anything you want us to take the blame for. Tell us. Let us know. Post a link. Send a letter. And we will publish an apology, allowing you to sleep soundly, safe in the knowledge that the blame rests with us. Go on, don’t be shy.
Barclay’s Bank has announced pre-tax profits of £6.07 billion pounds and is soon to be followed by the remaining top 5 banks of The UK – HSBC, Lloyds, Royal Bank of Scotland and Standard Chartered – pushing the annual profit of the Big Five up to £15 billion. This comes just a week after David Cameron successfully negotiated a £200 million charitable donation to his Big Society vision from these very banks. Assuming £15 billion is the watermark, this donation equates to 0.013% of the profit.
The sum of £200 million was, like an 18th century school bully, literally thrashed out between the government and the banks last week. A chicken feed sum in comparison to the gargantuan figures being offered up this week; inept in its petiteness. That they are so proud of this achievement smacks of desperation and is bitterly in-keeping with the rest of the flowery Big Society ideal.
Originally championed before the outset of the 2010 general election, the Big Society has slowly escalated into the modus operandi of the current leader of the British Empire. As the words Big Society slowly fall victim to semantic satiation (the phenomenon where the continued repetition of a word strips it of all sense and meaning; a kind of repetition blindness) it is worth highlighting the original ethos. Over to you David Cameron.
He goes on.
A sort of Dad’s Army for government. Taking the power from government and placing it in the hands of volunteer groups, charities, neighbours and friends is such a nice idea. They can let little fluffy bunny rabbits dictate planning permission and leave the rubbish collection to the clean fairies. Perhaps flooding response units can be handled by the local school children and the public libraries can rest safe in the hands of the local prisoners, out on day release for good behaviour.
A nice round sum of £200 million should just about cover it. Or it would, if, as according to some, it wasn’t just a big fluffy buzz word dreamt up to pull the wool over the nations unsuspecting eyes; a cover-up for the monumental public spending cuts that are currently being unleashed across much of The UK. More than one labour cynic has labelled the whole idea as doomed. Ed Milliband, speaking in a Sunday newspaper last year he stated that
“No one can volunteer at a library or a Sure Start centre if it’s being closed down. And nor can this Conservative-led government build a Big Society while simultaneously undermining its foundations with billions of pounds worth of cuts to the voluntary sector.”
Cuts? Well such is the state of the record budget deficit in the UK at the moment that £80 billion will be cut from public spending over the next 4 years. Liverpool has already pulled out of the Big Society after having to cut 1500 jobs due to the cuts. So many cuts. At least they can all volunteer now. Local authorities, left right and centre, have been slashing grants to the very charitable and volunteer groups the Big Society hopes will keep the grass and hedgerows looking green and pleasant.
£200 million can barely buy you an injured footballer these days, let alone fixing the world. That such a small amount is deemed a success by the powers that be; that they feel it is the cornerstone to the ideal, is a sucker-punch to the very people whose shoulders The Big Society rests. We take the blame for this ineptitude and for the small sum that they think can bring about the change.
As the annual bonuses for Barclay’s bank top brass currently sits at £2.16 billion, the 0.013% is put into some perspective. Whether The Big Society is blind Utopian Idealism or a serious contender for the future remains to be seen, but it is going to take a lot more than peanuts to quell the monkeys.
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