The last remaining crooner blames America for 9/11

Tony Bennett has an album coming out, its called Duets 2, only he uses roman numerals to say ’2′ because simply saying Duets 2 would be too easy. Now stupid people can think he means Duets 11. So he has a new album and to celebrate he went onto the Howard Stern’s Sirius XM radio show on Monday and said that America and its people were to blame for the 2001 September 11th terror attacks in New York. Sweet moves for an 85-year old crooner. He still knows how to seduce the ladies. The ineptitude? Using roman numerals when clear-as-day cardinal numbers would suffice and being controversial on national radio.

Appearing on Howard Sterns Internet radio station the singer was talking candidly about his time in France and Germany during the Second World War where what he saw apparently turned him into a pacifist in later life and perhaps helped put the swing in his croon. Things were going well, Bennett was being his candid yet charming self, Stern was being engaging and all were oblivious to what was about to come. And it was not the lyrics to a song from the album. Oh no.

Things taking a turn for the controversial worse could be an understatement, or not. Everyone knows that there is no such thing as bad publicity. Not that bad publicity would affect records sales for Mr Bennett: currently hovering around 55 million, give or take. The politically weighted interview by-passed the 70s, 80s and 90s and arrived in present day America. Just what could America could do about modern day terrorists Mr Bennett? His response is making MGM-casino shaped waves ripple across Twitter.

“But who are the terrorists? Are we the terrorists or are they the terrorists? Two wrongs don’t make a right. They flew the plane in, but we caused it. Because we were bombing them and they told us to stop.”

For more Tony Bennett pearls of wisdom, come here.

The biggest manhunt ever assembled came to a tumultuous crescendo last night as US Navy Seals finally put a bullet in the head of one of the most loathed, feared and discpicable man that ever had the audacity to walk amongst men. Osama Bin Laden, leader and morale for Al Quaeda has been killed. A nation rejoices; the free western world rejoices; New York rejoices; Madrid rejoices; London rejoices; Bali rejoices; Nairobi rejoices; every mother fucker who likes to take a walk in a park with friends on a Sunday afternoon and wallow in the freedom of it rejoices. There will be no obituary here. There will be no timeline of his trail of terror; his highlights of destruction. There will be no video footage. It has all been seen a billion times. Now the perpetrator is dead and some people will sleep soundly tonight for the first time in a decade.

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George Bush started the manhunt 10years ago. What did he have to say today?

“Earlier this evening, President Obama called to inform me that American forces killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of the al Qaeda network that attacked America on September 11, 2001. I congratulated him and the men and women of our military and intelligence communities who devoted their lives to this mission. They have our everlasting gratitude. This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all those who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. The fight against terror goes on, but tonight America has sent an unmistakable message: No matter how long it takes, justice will be done.”

In keeping with the president that everybody loved to hate and whose reputation perhaps grew a alittle today, what of his prequel. Bill Clinton?

“This is a profoundly important moment not just for the families of those who lost their lives on 9/11 and in al-Qaeda’s other attacks but for people all over the world who want to build a common future of peace, freedom, and co-operation for our children. I congratulate the president, the National Security team and the members of our armed forces on bringing Osama bin Laden to justice after more than a decade of murderous al-Qaeda attacks.”

Crossing the Atlantic. What of the old Brits? They played a part, what did their leader have to say? His name is David Cameron by the way.

“The news that Osama Bin Laden is dead will bring great relief to people across the world. Osama Bin Laden was responsible for the worst terrorist atrocities the world has seen – for 9/11 and for so many attacks, which have cost thousands of lives, many of them British. It is a great success that he has been found and will no longer be able to pursue his campaign of global terror.”

House speaker Boehner?

“This is great news for the security of the American people and a victory in our continued fight against al Qaeda and radical extremism around the world. We continue to face a complex and evolving terrorist threat, and it is important that we remain vigilant in our efforts to confront and defeat the terrorist enemy and protect the American people. I want to congratulate — and thank — the hard-working men and women of our Armed Forces and intelligence community for their tireless efforts and perseverance that led to this success. I also want to commend President Obama and his team, as well as President Bush, for all of their efforts to bring Osama bin Laden to justice.”

Mike Huckabee?

“It is unusual to celebrate a death, but today Americans and decent people the world over cheer the news that madman, murderer and terrorist Osama Bin Laden is dead. The leader of Al Qaeda— responsible for the deaths of 3000 innocent citizens on September 11, 2001, and whose maniacal hate is responsible for the deaths of thousands of US servicemen and women was killed by U.S. military. President Obama confirmed the announcement late last night. DNA tests confirmed his death and his body is in the possession of the U. S.”

Oh yeah. And Sarah Palin, what did she have to say?

“Americans tonight are united in celebration and gratitude. God bless all the brave men and women in our military and our intelligence services who contributed to carrying out the successful mission to bring Bin Laden to justice and who laid the groundwork over the years to make this victory possible. It’s a testament to the hard work and dedication of these brave Americans who relentlessly hunted down our enemy.”

“This is a victory for the American people, for the victims who were heartlessly murdered on September 11 and in Al Qaeda’s other numerous attacks, and for all the peace-loving people of the world. May God bless our troops and our intelligence services, and God bless America”

And Take The Blame™

“Fuck you al Qaeda”