Who said Taketheblame wasn’t revolutionary? Who said we could’nt be held responsible for things on a grandiose scale? Well, in an unprecedented move, not seen since OJ didn’t take the blame, we are holding our hands, arms and feet up and taking the blame for things that haven’t even happened yet. That’s right. We are taking the blame for the future. For absurdities, wrong doings and plain mentalisms that are yet to occur, but probably will.

Say goodbye Sainsburys

The year is 2234, Google and Tesco are the only two companies in the world. Anyone who works in any sector, in any country in any dialect works for one or the other. Self-employment died out with the Saudis in the last throws of rebellion some 80 years ago when Tesco finally took over the last remaining oil field and with it, sole right to sell petrol on Tesco forecourts throughout the entire world. The last remaining farmers on the African sub-continent finally gave up the right to their own land and their own produce 50 years prior and the Europeans barely got out of the 21st Century. Western Europe didnt. With petroleum and food finally conquered, for the time being they can rest on their laurels. It was, in hindsight, always going to be the two most sort after products that caused the most trouble. The vast Alaskan, South American and Antarctic oil fields found in the early 22nd century have enough oil to last well into the 27th century. Enticing every farmer on the face of the planet to produce food solely for the blue and white of Tesco proved to be trickier than fixing a lightbulb. With an estimated 657 million small holdings and farms in the early 20th century, that is a lot of compensation. How they did it, I for one don’t want to know, I like my hands and face as they are. Broadcasting it would only end my life prematurely. Use your imagination. There are only Tesco shops and they sell everything. everything.

Google, after the bloodbath with Microsoft that resulted in the loss of so many, has control of the airwaves – it was discovered in 2007 that the “white noise” in the “space” between traditional “analogue” “channels” could be used by Google and their microscopic engineers to build unfathomable ways and means to transport information on a truly spectacular scale. The advertising revenue was such that the dollar became obsolete and the “Google” soon became the only currency in the world. Banks collapsed, countries capitulated, Jerry Springer became popular again as myriad of billionaires needed a channel to vent their spleen. The people loved it as there was nothing better than watching a broke former-billionaire cry on TV. So all information, economies, wealth, knowledge and media is under their control. This about covers everything.

Taketheblame would like to apologise to the people of the next millennium. We are truly sorry. It is our fault.

The horrors of war will never be truly witnessed by those that do not actually fight. CNN and rolling news may go some way to portraying the violence and day-to-day occurrences, but they are viewed through a glass box and edited and controlled. The propaganda trail is as long as the bloody history it seeks to document. Books are a better way but word of mouth is the best. Not only can it document the horrors but also the niceties, and there are niceties in war however warped. One thing that there isn’t enough of in war is apologising. Perhaps it shows weakness in the eyes of the enemy, perhaps most are not sorry for the heinous crimes they commit. Governments do not apologise, armies do not apologise, commanding officers do not apologise. Have you ever heard anybody apologise for war? Bob Dylan sang about it, that was probably as close as we ever got.

In October of 1942 the defence ship SS City of Cairo left the port of Bombay and headed home to England, unescorted. Its route was to take it via Durban and Cape Town in South Africa and then Pernambucco in Brazil. During much of the voyage it would be sailing through occupied waters. German U-boats were patrolling. It was on the second leg, 2000 miles from Brazil when tradegy struck. U-68, captained by Karl-Friedrich Merten, struck the SS City of Cairo with a missile and the order to abandon ship was given. Unescorted and thousands of miles from land, any chance of survival was slim to none. After some 20 minutes, U-68 fired again and sank the SS Cairo. The story then takes on a different account.

U-68 surfaced and gave the survivors their location (2000 miles from Brazil, 1000 from Africa and 500 from the island of Helena). He then uttered one of the most famous apologies in memory and wished the survivors a good night. “Goodnight, and sorry for sinking you.” And he meant it. The survivors of SS City of Cairo were picked up some 2 weeks later near the island of Helena.

Read the full article of war bravery here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/ww2peopleswar/stories/77/a4440377.shtml

Our philosophy is simple, our motivation honest; We Apologise. We apologise and take the blame because no one else will. We will take anything that has ever wronged you, and write you an apology. We are sorry. Apparently we are in the grips of a so-called blame culture. Well we don’t know about you but we don’t see anybody taking the blame. We don’t see written, verbal or etched in sand apologies from the people on whose doorstep the blame should land. Put it on our doorstep then. And we will apologise to you.

It is amazing how much a simple apology means. How a simple “I am sorry”, “we are sorry” can brighten a day and more often than not, erase the problem. For we are forgiving creatures. But we are also stubborn and will hold a grudge when no apology is forthcoming. That will now change.

The last time you were spurned by a lover, ejected from a pub, riptoffed by a garage, over charged by a cinema. The last time your football team lost, your cricket team capitulated, your rugby team wimped out. The last time your car parking place was used by the work experience, the last time your bike got a puncture on the way home. The last time it rained or the last time you were mugged. The last time you phoned your bank and you put on hold in India and all you wanted was a balance. The last time your holiday was cancelled, your train was late, your subway ticket got lost in a drain. The last time your dealer ran out, you missed the bus or the kids across the street shouted abuse at you. The last time your friend didn’t call back, the animal you most love became extinct. You have no money, you have no motivation, You hate your computer. We, from the deepest, most honest depths of our heart, apologise. We will take the blame, because no one else will.

Our promise to you